Kiss
Puke
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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