Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We are two peas in an std pod
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize