Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Girls should come with a carfax report
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Randomize
