just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
