I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
