I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
