He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
