he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
