I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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