What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
