I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I need a beard to bite.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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