guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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