she was so not down for the gang bang
Are we in a gay sports bar?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize