those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
