as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
