Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
