Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
