She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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