He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
