im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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