no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
