Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
