I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
