I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
