Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
