I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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