put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
