i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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