you guys were way drunker than both of me
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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