so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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