my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
