wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
