if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
tell me about the eggs
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