You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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