whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize