Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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