just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
