They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
