Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
