just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I have surprise drugs for everyone
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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