she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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