a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize