Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Small penises have feelings too.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
