I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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