We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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