Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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