you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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