Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
BRING THE BAGELS
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
