this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
worst night to have a conscience
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
