ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
