Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
