There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Randomize
