; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
