I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
