So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
