I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize