There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
