JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
