Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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