Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
