okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
