just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
