I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
