I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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