why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
