so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
