I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
