K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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