Duck Duck Cougar?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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